Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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