It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
