...so i touched it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
