No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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