u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
