I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
