Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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