His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my shit smells like andre
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
