Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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