There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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