i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
