I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
