I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize