I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you win again, gameday.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
