In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
