Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
