i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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