Having a random hookup so left but love u
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
