Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry krazyman366 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

(630): View more from Illinois

if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

Fav 6 1647 1833
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.

Fav 17 756 3386
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class

Fav 49 5686 1182
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick

Fav 22 5924 1404
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

Fav 9 1115 2986
share tweet
(270): View more from Kentucky

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.

Fav 17 1310 2611
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.

Fav 6 923 1486
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.

Fav 2 357 167
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.

Fav 0 56 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT