honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
