Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
