i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
