im holly from the hills drunk
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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