Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
