...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
