Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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