so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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