dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
