dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize