yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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