ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
did i just pee glitter
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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