After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i've created a new STD.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
