Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
