I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
