Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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