I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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