This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
