we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
