I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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