You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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