Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
