4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
