Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
