My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
