Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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