I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
