She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
