WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
