The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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