Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
