Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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