Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
