Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
