and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
