i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
