It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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