we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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