This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
