well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
accomplished twins. life is a go
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
