So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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