My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Green mimosas i think yes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
