Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
A bitchslap is in order.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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