Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
