Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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