Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
