Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
